Funny Things from My Teacher, and Global Warming

So my teacher... he's a bit different. While doing my very best to pay attention and get through this little detour on my road to college, I find some pleasure in silently laughing to my self at all the crazy things that he says and or does.


For instance:

While we were on a quick 10 minute break, everyone else went outside to smoke while I stayed in the classroom to read a children's novel (Tale of Despereaux <3 love it ). Well I am sure glad I did, because I got to witness him surfing the web. His computer was still connected to the projector so I watched him peruse the Kentucky Fried Chicken website. Just looking. Maybe he was ordering lunch? Nope. He was just staring at the chicken.

He says some of the strangest things as well... I already mentioned his threory on Hitler and the English string pullers. But he does offer some tidbits of vital geologic importance:

"Water is constantly being recycled, since the dawn of time (pause for wheezing breath) So the water you drink could have been the water Jesus was babtized in. It could also be the water Julius Ceasar took a piss in."

" There's a theory... that the Dinosaurs didn't die from the meteor... but actually the impact stirred up gasses and bacteria making them all catch Dinosaur AIDs. And that's what made them go extinct. "

"We've found wooly mammoths frozen, and after the autopsy discovered green plantlife that they had ingested, which is evidence that the ice age must have just sprang up all of a sudden. Which I would imagine must have pissed off the mammoth. But he's dead so we don't know."

There's dozens of random things he says. He has a very practical view of the Earth, and that is everything that happens has happened for millions of years and will continue to do so. So Global Warming is just a political move by Al Gore... which actually makes sense. Hey, if you're a die hard inconvienient truth fan, don't let me sway you. But the guy has a point, as crazy as he is. In between ice ages there are natural carbon emmissions that build up until the next ice age, fluxuating like that. In the grand life of the earth, we humans pretty much ammount to specs of dust, says my teacher, and we aren't the cause of global warming. It's just the earth doing it's thing. Well that's good news to me. Screw you Al Gore, you really had us all going for a while. Making money off our paranoia while riding around in your gas guzzling jets and tour busses.

The only ill effect of the pollution is the asthma and other respiratory diseases springing up. Gas companies don't want mommies with sick children protesting on their doorsteps so they point the finger at Global Warming. So eco friendlies freak out and attribute the gas guzzling pollution to being the cause of sad polar bears when REALLY it's just the earth being all "whatever, I'm gonna just gear up for the next ice age."

Well, maybe instead of getting angry at each other for pollutants, we should find a different way to get energy before we all die of cancer.... or AIDs, like the Dinosaurs.

Some of my favorite things

I have a lot of favorite things! Here's a few!

I collect vintage hats. This one is from the early 50's, and it has a very delicate netting, lovely beadwork and creamy velvet. I have 6 right now, but I constantly am on the prowl for more! They fascinate me, I always wonder who owned this hat originally, what their life was like. It's a wonderful feeling of nostalgia for a life that wasn't yours but you get to carry it around on your head.

 This little watch is on a long chained necklace that my sister got me for my highschool graduation. It's so lovely, and I call it my benjamin button clock because of the hummingbird and the clock symbolization the movie stresses. My sister picked this up in a little boutique in NYC. Another one of my favorite things, the big apple.

LookBook!

I LOVE lookbook.nu! It's a great way to get inspiration for what to wear! I'm gonna start to upload my own looks, but for now here's two I just discovered and LOVED! Hype it up.

Sketchbook Project!

You guys gotta check this out! They send you a sketchbook, you fill it out according to a 

certain theme, send it back, and your sketchbook is included in a traveling library  of 

sketchbooks! I'm gonna do it, you should too! My theme is "It will be fun, I swear". I'm

excite!

We're all going to die.

How's that for nihilism?


I've survived so far one week of community college SUMMER classes. So until I can enjoy 2 weeks of freedom before the intense fall semester, I have 5 more weeks of  easy summer class. 1 down, 5 to go. I keep repeating that in my head. I have our family's Cape Cod house to look forward to once I'm done all this nonsense.

I am only taking one class this summer, so I have some free time for other things. The class is the very exciting EARTH SCIENCES! Or to some it up: Our planet has the potential to eradicate us like head lice on a whim.

If it's not volcanoes potentially erupting in Italy, America and Japan it's earthquakes whipping through the Pacific Coastline (as we all remember Haiti-- those people still need help!) However devastating this news may sound, at least take comfort in the fact that the sun won't blow up for another billion years or so. So we don't have to worry about that.

Still, I take all this information with a grain of sodium chloride (ha ha, science humor) because my professor quite possibly be insane. This guy has a very bleak view of the world, not to mention his lack of concern for his obesity because he shovels down McDonald's every day. At least he has orthopedic shoes.
When he isn't giving us his droll lectures on minerals, or foretelling future catastrophes, he is feeding us little tidbits of his 'research' on economic wars. His theory is that Hitler was brainwashed as a child by the British Aristocracy to have him grow up and start WWII just to weaken the French. I couldn't make this up if I tried.

But then again, for all I know he is actually right and Hitler was in cahoots with the English the entire time.


So start building your earthquake shelters and don't plan on traveling to Naples anytime soon for fear of ending up like Pompeii.

Surviving Community College

That pretty much sums up my life right now.

So for those who need more details, here's a summary of the past 18 years of my life:

I grew up with a wonderful family, fantastic parents, two fabulous older sisters and a once in a life time dog(who sadly was put down last week :'[ ). From a very early age I showed a love for art and had a certain creativity ( the kind that drove my poor mother crazy when I 'creatively' found my way into the dryer at age two, tried to flush my new sneakers down the toilet, and thought it'd be a good idea to give the dog a haircut).

I carried that passion through school and I just graduated. I'm on my way to college-- but first I have to survive community college. You see, that love of art translated into a great disdain for math and science. Ergo, I failed. Those grades didn't impress the big wigs at Temple University so I didn't get accepted. However, the lovely people in charge of Tyler School of Art loved my portfolio and saw that I apparently have talent (although I don't always see that) and offered me a solution: If I were to complete at least 3 credits at community college to supliment the first semester in the fall, I could transfer to Temple/Tyler for the second semester in the spring!

So the challenge: get at least all B's in my community college courses and survive it
The competator: A frankly very lazy art student who wishes she were a little more fabulous and possibly a little bit chic.

I MUST survive community college. Then life won't be about survival, it will be about thriving.