So my teacher... he's a bit different. While doing my very best to pay attention and get through this little detour on my road to college, I find some pleasure in silently laughing to my self at all the crazy things that he says and or does.
For instance:
While we were on a quick 10 minute break, everyone else went outside to smoke while I stayed in the classroom to read a children's novel (Tale of Despereaux <3 love it ). Well I am sure glad I did, because I got to witness him surfing the web. His computer was still connected to the projector so I watched him peruse the Kentucky Fried Chicken website. Just looking. Maybe he was ordering lunch? Nope. He was just staring at the chicken.
He says some of the strangest things as well... I already mentioned his threory on Hitler and the English string pullers. But he does offer some tidbits of vital geologic importance:
"Water is constantly being recycled, since the dawn of time (pause for wheezing breath) So the water you drink could have been the water Jesus was babtized in. It could also be the water Julius Ceasar took a piss in."
" There's a theory... that the Dinosaurs didn't die from the meteor... but actually the impact stirred up gasses and bacteria making them all catch Dinosaur AIDs. And that's what made them go extinct. "
"We've found wooly mammoths frozen, and after the autopsy discovered green plantlife that they had ingested, which is evidence that the ice age must have just sprang up all of a sudden. Which I would imagine must have pissed off the mammoth. But he's dead so we don't know."
There's dozens of random things he says. He has a very practical view of the Earth, and that is everything that happens has happened for millions of years and will continue to do so. So Global Warming is just a political move by Al Gore... which actually makes sense. Hey, if you're a die hard inconvienient truth fan, don't let me sway you. But the guy has a point, as crazy as he is. In between ice ages there are natural carbon emmissions that build up until the next ice age, fluxuating like that. In the grand life of the earth, we humans pretty much ammount to specs of dust, says my teacher, and we aren't the cause of global warming. It's just the earth doing it's thing. Well that's good news to me. Screw you Al Gore, you really had us all going for a while. Making money off our paranoia while riding around in your gas guzzling jets and tour busses.
The only ill effect of the pollution is the asthma and other respiratory diseases springing up. Gas companies don't want mommies with sick children protesting on their doorsteps so they point the finger at Global Warming. So eco friendlies freak out and attribute the gas guzzling pollution to being the cause of sad polar bears when REALLY it's just the earth being all "whatever, I'm gonna just gear up for the next ice age."
Well, maybe instead of getting angry at each other for pollutants, we should find a different way to get energy before we all die of cancer.... or AIDs, like the Dinosaurs.
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